A Man Like Him
by Thecastlefan101
Summary: Castle comes over Beckett's place when she cuts her arm in Kill shot. Hallucinations and first kisses.
1. Chapter 1

"Yeah just like we caught the guy who shot me," she countered. She didn't mean to snap at Castle like that but she couldn't control her emotions. They were everywhere all at once. She couldn't tell one from the other and to top it off there was a sniper going around killing people. Innocent people. And she's too damaged to figure out how to stop him.

She needed to get out of there. Staying in this building, where he's taken someone's life, was too much. It's getting harder to hold herself together. That's why as soon as she closed the door to her apartment she let go. She was scared and while she was by herself she didn't have to hide it.

She changed out of her annoying work clothes that were tight on her skin into her NYPD t-shirt. She let her hair down and made sure her gun was near at all times.

'What was that?' She thought panic flooding inside her chest. She heard noise come from somewhere. She couldn't tell where though. 'Kate it's nothing. Stop bring paranoid.'

She needed a drink. Something strong. Or else she wasn't getting through this night.

She poured a glass of of the scotch that her father had given her the day she graduated from the academy. The slow burn of it as it descended down her throat felt good. She downed the glass. She needed more.

Gun in hand, she poured another glass. Then another.

_Then another._

_Another_

_Another_

_Another_

_Another_

Before she knew it it was all gone. There was no more alcohol to help her fight. She was on her own.

That's when the flashbacks began. She saw herself standing up on the podium and felt, once again, the bullet burn through her chest. She heard the shot. It sounded so close. So real.

There it was again.

_Bang_!

"Oh no!" She shouted knocking over her coffee table and grabbing her gun.

Then she saw herself lying on the ground, bleeding out. She could feel on her chest the blood oozing out of her. The pain she felt. How cold she felt.

_Bang_!

"Ahh!" She screamed closing her blinds and scooting back against a wall clutching her gun tightly. Unknowingly cutting herself on the broken glass from the table.

She wants to drink. But she's too scared to move this spot.

_Bang_!

"Oh God," she yelled when she felt the burn of a bullet touch her chest. But when she looked down at her scare there was nothing there. "I can't do this, she cried.

'What was that?' She asked herself when she heard a noise.

_Boom Boom Boom_

What is it? She doesn't know how much longer she'll be able to hold out.

_Boom Boom Boom_

There it is again. "He's here to kill me!" She said when she realized it was her front door. "He found me."

"Beckett I know you're there open up!" Castle yelled from the outside of the door.

Her heart sank to her stomach with relief when she recognized that voice. It was such a sweet voice that always provided comfort.

But she didn't want to see him. She didn't want him to see her like this. She was a mess and drunk and what would he think?

"Beckett it's Castle please open up!"

Reluctantly she stood up from her safe corner. Scoping the living room out as she made her way to the door she had her gun at the ready the entire walk to her front door.

Before she opened it she tried to regain control of her body and her emotions. But it wasn't really working.

She opened the door to Castle who was bearing a smile and some flowers. Multiple color roses with one red one in the center. His smile immediately faded when he saw the blood dripping from her arm.

"Kate what's going on?"

"What are you talking about Castle I'm fine?"

He invited himself in. "No I mean about this," he said dropping the flowers on the floor and lifting her arm where the bleeding was.

"Oh I-I don't know."

He looked up into her eyes with concern written all over his face. "Kate tell me you didn't."

It took a while for her to realize what he was suggesting. "God Castle no. I didn't do this to myself! Look you're not safe here. You need to go."

"Kate what the hell were you doing?" He asked astounded by how messy her apartment was and by the gun in her hand.

"Castle!" Was all she managed to say because she didn't want to lie to him but she didn't want to tell him the truth either.

"Come here " he demanded taking her good arm and dragging her to the sink. He washed the blood off her arm and realized how deep the glass had cut her. Another centimeter and she would have needed stitches. She got the first aid kit from the bathroom and Castle patched up her arm. Then the click of the lock latches made her jump.

"Kate you need to step off this case and get some help."

"No what I need to do is find the guy who's killing all these people."

He sighed. He knew she was too stubborn to listen and arguing wouldn't do anything but get him kicked out.

He told her to sit down while he cleaned up the glass. That's when he came across the empty alcohol bottle.

"You've been drinking?" He asked stunned. "Did you take anything?"

"Huh?"

"Did you take anything?" He asked more urgently. Alcohol and medicine? Don't mush we'll together.

"No I didn't take anything."

He shook his head once then went back to cleaning.

Kate couldn't tell why but for some reason she felt better with Castle there. It was like he was a force field keeping all the evil and danger away. She was safe with him.

Then suddenly he disappeared and she was back at the podium. It wasn't just a flash this time it was real.

She was standing on the podium at Montgomery's funeral. She was giving her speech. "Castle?" She felt herself yell but she just continued the speech. Then she saw the flash of light from afar. She knew what was next.

The sound of the bullet rang through the air and next she felt the heat and sharpness of the bullet dig into her skin and pierce through her heart. Next Castle's voice begging her not to leave and stay with her.

And then his beautiful confession of love. She could feel his arms around her and once again saw the pain on his face. She cried. She couldn't bare to see this The first time and now it's happening again.

"Kate are you okay? What's going on? Kate what's happening? Where are you Kate?" She heard Castle say. The real Castle.

"Castle?" She said lazily. "Is it really you?" She questioned as her eyes came back into focus. "Castle?"

"Yes it's me Kate. I'm here."

She reached out and touched his face to make sure it was really him and not another hallucination. When she felt his soft skin under her finger tips, she grabbed him and brought him down to herself, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you. Thank you so much for being here." He could hear the relief in her voice. She meant it. She actually wanted him here.

"Of course. Always."

At that she could no longer hold back the tears that were consuming her, trying to fight their way out. "I don't know why this is happening to me," she whined. "I want it to stop."

"It will you just have to wait it out. And don't feed into it by drinking. You're strong Kate Beckett. You can do this," he encouraged still hugging her. He started playing with her hair.

"Will you stay tonight? It's just I feel safer with you here."

"I wasn't planning on leaving anyway."

He led her to the bedroom and started undressing her as much as she would allow anyway. She re-changed into a big comfortable t-shirt because NYPD one had blood all over it. Castle tucked her in. He pulled up a chair to watch over as she slept. "Are you going to stay there?" She asked.

"Yes. All night."

She covered her face and leaned in closer to him to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. When she did he got nervous. His face turned red and couldn't think right. He wanted her to do it again.

And she did but this time kissing him on the lips. "Thank you. You're always here for me."

He decided not to push this. She was emotionally unstable and drunk. No way she's judging herself correctly. So he did the only thing he thought he could. "Goodnight Kate. I'll be here when you wake up in the morning."

She smiled at him and snuggled into bed. She closed her eyes with their fingers intertwined.

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** A/N: Pleeeeease review! Reviews are my life! **


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Reviews are definitely welcome. No they are ENFORCED!

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She woke up the next morning around 5am. She couldn't explain why but her eyes just fluttered open. Castle was asleep in the chair next to her bed with drool coming out of his mouth and falling onto his pants.

"_Ew_ Castle," she laughed. She placed her hand back into his and tried to get more sleep.

The next time she woke up she smelled bacon and Coffee. Coffee is totally what she needs right now. She opened her eyes to find her hand cold and the man sitting beside her gone.

She didn't realize how much she loved this man until last night. She wishes she could be with him. But she's not ready yet. She still has far too much healing to do before she could enter into a real committed relationship.

She needs to get better. No more putting it off. No more procrastinating. She needs to get better for herself and for him.

The sun was shining through the window in her bedroom so she sat up and embraced how warm it felt on her skin. She stretched and got out the bed.

When she walked into the kitchen Castle was standing by the stove reading the paper. He didn't see her standing there. She couldn't help but take in the scene. Castle making her breakfast in bed and holding her at night while she slept. She liked the way it looked and now she knew she had to get better.

She walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He handed her a cup of de-caffeinated coffee so her nerves didn't get too worked up. He sat down opposite of her and laid the paper down beside him.

He looked up at her while she drank her coffee. She took a sip and the deliciously hot liquid simmered down her body warming her. It felt good. How does he make his coffee so good? She thought.

She took another sip this time closing her eyes as it ran its course down her body. She felt immediate relief and comfort from his coffee. She opened her eyes and found him staring intently at her.

She wanted to smile but suppressed it from showing.

"Kate," he started. She knew what was coming. But she didn't want to talk she just wanted to be in the moment, in the comfort of him. But she knew she couldn't let that show. They weren't that far along in their...relationship?

"Castle I know. You don't have to say anything."

"No I don't think you realize how bad you've gotten. You thought I was going to hurt you when you came out this morning. I saw how you reacted when I turned around to hand you your coffee."

Is that why she jumped? She hadn't really paid it any mind. "Castle I know you're not going to hurt me. And I'm telling you now that I'm fine," she said more to convince herself than him.

"No you're not. Do you remember what you said to me last night?"

Honestly besides Castle staying by her side she didn't remember much. "No."

"You told me that you didn't know why this was happening to you. And that you wanted this to stop."

"Castle I'm fine you know I was drinking so it influenced my behavior."

He tried not to think that was why she kissed him. He didn't even know if she remembered kissing him. But that's not important right now. Right now was about her and her health. She needs to get better. He needs his Kate back.

"That was more than just 'influenced behavior' Kate. We both know what's really going on. You need help."

_"I'm already getting help Castle!"_ She blurted out. She didn't mean to say it, it just came out. She knew if she told him then we would ask questions. How long has she been seeing someone? Is it helping? Why didn't she say anything? What made her start getting the help? All questions she was sure she couldn't answer right now.

"Good," he said.

She was surprised that was all he said. But she knew from the look in his eyes that he needed more. "I started seeing him after I came back to work. He told me this case would bring up problems but I didn't listen. My only focus was to catch the sonofabitch killing these people."

"I understand. I do but you're not the only cop in the world. Ryan and Esposito can handle this case without you. You're not ready to handle this just yet."

"I think I am now. I don't know why but I feel like I can do this."

He sighed and put his head down an ran his fingers through his hair before looking back up at her. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. And I wouldn't be so sure if it wasn't for you Castle. If you didn't come over last night," she cut off and looked away. He could see she was trying hold back tears and he wanted so badly to reach out and comfort her. "I don't know what I would have done to myself."

One tear managed to make its way down her cheek and Castle took the opportunity to take his finger and gently wipe it away. He let his hand linger there on her cheek, caressing it with the back of his hand. She held it there on her cheek and closed her eyes. She couldn't take him looking at her like that. She could see how concerned he was but mostly she saw love. And she so desperately wanted to give it back. But she couldn't. Not yet.

"I should get ready. They'll be expecting me at the precinct."

Castle was shaking his head. "You're off this morning I asked Espo to cover for you."

"Castle!"

"No you need to take this time to rest. Maybe go talk to your doctor. But you are not going in yet."

She wanted to kiss him. He was right that's what she needed. She wanted sleep more than anything. How does this man do this to her? He drives her emotions up and down and always manages to surprise her.

She didn't know what to say so she just nodded and left for her room.

As she laid on her bed staring out the window she heard Castle in the kitchen. Most likely he was cleaning up the mess. She didn't touch her breakfast but it was okay. He didn't fix much and he would most likely make sure she had something to eat later today.

Wow. It was like they were together. He was taking care of her and she knew he would be there when she needed him. She's so in love with him. Maybe that was the pain she was feeling. She loved him so much that it hurt not to be with him. To not touch him or to hold him. She needs him. More now than ever. Without knowing it he crept his way into the deep corridors of her heart. A place no one has reached. She never allowed anyone to. But she let him in without knowing it. He squeezed past her walls and consumed her heart.

And now she thinks she loves him even more. He's taking care of her and he's waiting for her to get better before he brings up the kiss. Which was sweet.

"Castle?" She called out when she didn't hear anything coming from the kitchen. He peeked his head into her room almost instantly. She looked at him and held her hand out to him. He walked in and took it. She tugged him closer until he sat on the bed next to her. "Stay with me."

She took his arm and wrapped it around her body forcing him to lay down next to her. He rested his head down just above hers.

"We're gonna get through this," he whispered to her. She could feel his warm breath on her neck. It was soothing.

"I know. I'm gonna get better Castle. Don't worry about me too much. I'll get better and then-"

"I know." There was no more need to express any words. He knew what she was going to say. So then they could be together. He was just happy he got to hold her. Neither one of them moved the slightest until she had to get ready to go into the precinct. She was going to solve this case. With Castle at her side she knew she was safe. She was going to heal and they were going to be together. They just had to wait a little while longer.

_Just a little._


End file.
